The 10 Commandments of Owning an Abraham Lincoln-Themed Restaurant

Photo by Library of Congress on Unsplash

1. You shall only use tables. No Booths allowed.
2. If a fight breaks out, you must take the side of the northernmost person.
3. You shall offer free cheesy bread to every 16th customer.
4. The building must be a log cabin.
5. You shall shave the mustache of any bearded man at the entrance.
6. You shall adorn the walls with pictures of every famous Hannibal including, but not limited to, Hamlin, Lecter, Burress, and the son of Hamilcar.
7. If your town has a street named Gettysburg, your restaurant must be built there.
8. You shall not open a franchise south of the Mason-Dixon line.
9. You shall only accept pennies and $5 bills as payment.
10. You shall tow any Ford in the parking lot at the owner’s expense.