Ted Mosby’s Weed Brand Side Effects Include Nine Years of Whining and Self-Pity

“My product is more than just marijuana,” pontificated the pretentious sad sack Mosby. “It’s a symphony of flavors, a dazzling symbiosis of human and flora, an orgasmic experience that stretches to every corner of the cosmos. The type of weed you could waste nine seasons telling your kids about…”

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