PHILADELPHIA — Tom Florentino was reaching for a set of fake vampire teeth in an aisle of a local Spirit Halloween when he noticed that the soundtrack playing over the loudspeakers went straight from ‘Monster Mash’ to ‘White Christmas,’ stoned store employees confirmed.
“I had to check my phone to see what day it was; what month is was!” said Florentino, who had been a regular customer of the shop since Sears closed in 2006. “I knew they were going to do it at some point because every store is doing it, but couldn’t they at least have tried to put a little Halloween spin on it?”
Florentino shook his head in disbelief as he slowly witnessed Christmas cheer eclipse Halloween horror.
“I might have accepted ‘You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch’, because the Grinch would most likely adopt the spirit of Halloween,” conceded Florentino. “I would definitely have been creeped out by ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’, but, come on. ‘White Christmas?’ I got sunburnt at the Shore last weekend. Here I am looking for fake blood to traumatize all the little kids in the neighborhood, and now I’m the one who has to go to therapy because all I can hear is that the treetops are glistening and sleigh bells are ringing when it’s 87 degrees outside!”
