BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — After Facebook boldly rebranded as Meta, Myspace followed suit by also changing its company name, Myspace co-founder and your first e-friend Tom Anderson confirmed.
“Although our social media application will still go by Myspace, our company itself will be called Facebook,” stated Anderson. “We hope that stragglers who are unaware of the original Facebook’s shift will buy stock under our new name. I beta tested this whole scenario by renaming my cat to Facebook, and it has been a seamless transition so far.”
Although many people rejoiced at hearing this news, Meta (formerly Facebook) CEO Mark Zuckerberg chirped that he was not pleased.
“Myspace has always been riding out coattails,” huffed Zuckerberg. “Well, other than the fact that their company started a year before ours. Anyway, I can’t stand Tom. He thinks he’s so cool just because he looks like a human being and doesn’t have a punchable face. When I inevitably create my Myspace/Facebook account, because honestly, I was a big fan back then, I will be blocking him for sure.”
Anderson promised that despite the company’s name change, he still wishes to deliver a typical ‘Myspace’ experience.”
“We are going back to our roots as far as our website is concerned,” explained Anderson. “Many consumers like it when companies update their apps with the latest and greatest technology, but we are going to do the opposite. We want to focus on customer customizations again. Emo teenagers who learned enough HTML in 10 minutes to destroy any page’s layout will maintain full control over their My Little Pony-themed pages while Good Charlotte’s ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ autoplays when you land on a user’s site. We will also be reviving the ‘top friends’ section so that our consumers can relive the drama they craved back in the early 2000s.”
At press time, Anderson revealed that they were also working on functionality where site visitors can rank their pets to make them jealous as well.