My Rookie Soccer Card Is Now Worth $13,121.50

Ken Taro
2 min readOct 7, 2023

Sure, I set the price on eBay, but still…

Rookie soccer card of Ken Ward

Listing Description:

Autographed Rookie Soccer Card of West Citrus Soccer Star Ken Ward.

“The Asian Sensation” Ken Ward was a superstar soccer player in the West Citrus Soccer League, an organization about an hour north of Tampa. He was considered so good that the coach only let him score one goal the entire season so that the other players wouldn’t get jealous. He had the chiseled physique of a Greek God and the intelligence of an Einstein/Newton hybrid.

Although there were plenty of reasons for other players to hate him, Ward was just too funny and loveable to be ostracized. This is currently the only genuinely-autographed card in circulation today. The selling price could be much higher, but $13,121.50 seems to be the sweet spot at this point.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity that card collectors are calling “The deal of a lifetime, for someone.”

Here is the link to the listing:

The listing ends in 7 days, do but it while you still can!

Bonus picture of soccer stud:

Ken Ward holding a soccer ball outside Homosassa Elementary School



Ken Taro

Writer, satirist, and humorist. You can find my best work on my mom’s refrigerator.