Marjorie Taylor Greene Goes to E.R. for Broken “HIPPA” Violation
ROME, Ga. — The controversial representative of Georgia’s 14th congressional district checked into a local hospital complaining of a broken “HIPPA” violation after a run-in with an intrusive reporter, frustrated sources at the scene confirmed.
“All I wanted to do was inform them that I was losing all my freedoms, but they kept asking me all of these personal, medical questions,” huffed Green. “What body part hurts? Do you have hepatitis? When did you last come in contact with a Jewish space laser? I told them exactly what was wrong. MY HIPPA RIGHTS ARE BROKEN NO MATTER WHERE I GO. No one needs to know my vaccination status or anything else for the matter.”
“HIPAA,” which is the correct form of “HIPPA” that Green keeps referring to, stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. According to the HIPAA Journal, “The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) was created primarily to modernize the flow of healthcare information, stipulate how personally identifiable information maintained by the healthcare and healthcare insurance industries should be protected from fraud and theft, and address limitations on healthcare insurance coverage.”
To no one’s surprise, Green has continually misinterpreted the statute along with its name. A reporter asking about her vaccination status does not represent a HIPAA violation. Triage nurse Riva Jackson had the unpleasant task of dealing with the uncooperative politician.
“I kept reassuring Congresswoman Greene that I just wanted to make sure she was ok by taking her pulse, blood pressure, and temperature,” claimed Jackson. “But she refused to let me because she said her AR-15 and Bible would take care of any of her health problems. After that, I had no choice but to discharge her.”
Green felt that she was still misunderstood, but was happy she escaped with no invasive procedures.
“They better thank their lucky stars they didn’t try to put a ventilator into my broken HIPPA. My hips breathe just fine, except for when I wear my favorite pencil skirt. All I can say is that I will never stop advocating for medical freedom even if it kills me, my friends, family members, political colleagues, religious leaders, radio shock jocks, and everyone else who believes in America.”
At press time, Green has now become affectionately known as the HIPPApotamus at the hospital.