How You Can Designate One Side of Bed for Working Hard and the Other Side for Playing Hard

Ken Taro
4 min readDec 25, 2022

Follow these tips for optimizing your experience while you work and play from home.

A man sitting in bed looking at a tablet.
Work Hard, Play Hard; Photo by Surface on Unsplash

Work Hard, Play Hard.

How many times have you had a company ram that motto down your throat? If you toil away in the corporate world, the adage is as common as meetings that could have been emails and “morale-boosting” pizza parties (although, to be fair, I do love free pizza).

If you are fancy, you might have a dedicated desk or even an entire home office! However, if you are poor like me, a bed will have to suffice. That is why I am here to help you turn your bed into the oasis that befits your company’s rallying cry.

My Venmo is @Ken-Ward-3 if you would like me to tailor a customized package for you.

Work Hard; Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

Work Hard:

Unfortunately, as much as we would only like to play hard, we must carry out the pesky task of actually performing our mind-numbing job tasks. Tragic, I know. I feel fortunate that I enjoy my job, so I would like to pay it forward to you all.

Your first agonizing decision: Which way should you split the bed? Many beds are not perfect squares. There are long sides and short sides, and both provide advantages and disadvantages.

A man reading a book in his bed with his back against the wall.
Photo by Christopher Jolly on Unsplash

If you decide to split by length, you will have plenty of room to lie down, but you will also face a similar dilemma of “aisle or window seat” on a plane. Going the short way allows you to have a wall to lean against as well as an escape route to jump out of bed in case you want to run into the woods forever and never return.

Just remember to make sure you leave just enough elbow room on a shelf or small table to settle in with a nice cup of coffee just for you to spill it all over yourself as you make a mad dash to the toilet as soon as you have…

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Ken Taro

Writer, satirist, and humorist. You can find my best work on my mom’s refrigerator.