Many people struggle to lose massive amounts of weight, but they don’t have to. I was able to shed half a hundred lbs just by lying to the government! The great thing is that you can follow in my footsteps.
You can even choose just how much you want to get rid of. Those bureaucrat buffoons don’t keep a scale at the counter. They only verify your eyesight, like that’s important? Anyway, I felt so exhilarated that I exaggerated my height as well. I am 5'11 3/4" in real life, so I rounded up to an even 8 feet. However, if you feel that this strategy is not for you, here are a few more methods to attempt:
- Buy a broken scale — You can set the weight to any amount you want. One bonus feature of this is that you can trick your houseguests as well.
- Use your imagination — No one said you have to live in reality. As long as you can count to 100 or 200 pounds, you’re more than welcome to pick your own measurements.
- Fly to the moon — It is all the rage to rent a rocket and launch yourself to outer space these days. Apparently, shifts in gravity can make you weigh less or something. I don’t really know, to be honest. The only prerequisite is that you need to be a billionaire, or at least be chummy with one.
