Member-only story

Gymnastic Scoring Judges Withdraw From Olympics for Mental Health Reasons After Simone Biles Announces Return

Ken Taro
2 min readAug 2, 2021

--

Photo by Eduardo Cano Photo Co. on Unsplash

TOKYO — Simone Biles has declared that she will compete in the balance beam event, which has prompted all the gymnatic judges to leave the Olympics for the sake of their collective mental health rather than score the routine of the best and most creative gymnast of all time.

“We, the judges, don’t know what amazing new moves she has in store for us, so we have decided to leave and focus on ourselves by going on a Pokemon Go raid together,” admitted a senior judge. “Do you know how much pressure there is to be perfect while tens of millions of people from around the world are scrutinizing every little move we make? We were having panic attacks while reviewing Simone’s past performances because there is a very real possibility that we would have to add new letters to the alphabet to be able to score her moves accurately. I think I speak for all the other judges when I say we can’t handle the pyschological anguish.”

Biles, who has won more than 30 medals between the Olympics and World Championships, said she supports their decision.

“Mental health is very important to me,” revealed Biles. “Believe it or not, elite athletes can get into their own heads as well. Some people think what I do is so easy that I am…

--

--

Ken Taro
Ken Taro

Written by Ken Taro

Writer, satirist, and humorist. You can find my best work on my mom’s refrigerator.

No responses yet