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Governor Gavin Newsom Recalled as Commissioner of Fantasy Baseball League
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Governor Newsom widely avoided being relieved of his duties as the leader of the Golden State, but did not share the same fate as commissioner of the fantasy baseball league he runs with old college buddies, team owners confirmed.
“I fully support Gavin as governor of California, but he can’t run a fantasy baseball league for shit,” scoffed Ty Ginetti. “First of all, he named the league CalPals when everyone else voted calling it OJ’s Great Bronco Escape based on the fact that we all went to Santa Clara University where the Broncos are the mascot. He had to do what was necessary for the state, but he went way overboard with the league. He made us wear masks during the Zoom call for our draft. I’m all for masking up in public but this was ridiculous.”
Newsom put out a press release email to address the members of the league.
“This hurts more than you will ever know. Honestly, I’m kind of over the whole governor thing, but this fantasy league was my life. Every day, I approved and rejected trades that would have been disastrous for everyone. I let the fellas keep players who were anti-vax. I let Leonard reset his lineup when his wife left him even though it was past the cutoff time. Also, some of you still can’t even spell my name right after 30 years…
