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SAN FRANCISCO — After officially taking the reins at social media giant X (formerly known as Twitter), “humanitarian” Elon Musk met with UNICEF officials to pledge that he will end #WorldHunger once and for all. Since the social media outlet’s debut in 2006, people from all over the world have complained that they have been starved for attention.
X users have consistently criticized the original founders for refusing to take the issue seriously. They finally saw a beacon of hope in the down-to-earth multi-billionaire who helped propel SpaceX and Tesla, Inc. into the mainstream vernacular and now runs them with only the assistance of a few billion dollars in government subsidies.
“I hate seeing people suffer,” said the 51-year-old entrepreneur. “When people log into X, I don’t want them to have to deal with depressing issues such as #WorldHunger. X is a place to have fun and use a variety of slurs in the most creative ways possible. When people are light-heartedly threating to kill each other over conservative vs. liberal ideologies, the last thing they should be thinking about is #WorldHunger. The concept of politics has nothing to do with #WorldHunger.”
Musk quickly assured his fans that he still believes in his platform of limiting censorship.