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Elizabeth Warren Steals Dinner Reservation From Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland
WASHINGTON — Controversy reared its ugly head at a restaurant in the nation’s capital city after Senator Elizabeth Warren usurped a 7 p.m. dinner reservation from Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland, sources confirmed.
“I didn’t want to do that to Secretary Haaland, but this was an important meeting that needed to happen as soon as possible,” explained Warren. “Some fellow Senators and I are forming a committee to address the dire needs of Native Americans in this great country. I was chosen to lead the commission because of the close ties I maintain with my Indigenous community.”
However, Warren contended that she didn’t leave Haaland out in the cold because of their tribal kinship.
“Deb would be the first to admit we are blood sisters,” assured Warren. “Our people have struggled for hundreds of years, so it is nice to have someone else in the upper echelons of our government who shares my pain.”
Warren, who holds trace amounts of Native American ancestry, has come under fire before for using her background to her advantage.
“I certainly didn’t mean for this fiasco to happen,” continued Warren. “In fact, I resolved the matter by securing her a table for two inside one of the wheelchair-accessible…
