Donkey Kong Breaks Leg While Attempting Crate & Barrel Challenge

MILWAUKEE — Beloved video game character Donkey Kong fractured his femur while trying the “Crate & Barrel Challenge”, a variation of the viral “Milk Crate Challenge,” sources at Nintendo confirmed.

“I slipped on a banana peel,” confessed Kong. “I got hungry and paid the price. I knew I should have reached for my Clif Bar instead. Before that, I had no problem stacking the stores, so I figured climbing them would be a breeze. My biggest issue at that point was finding leftover buildings. I looked behind dozens of Best Buys and Cheesecake Factories for hours before I scrounged up enough to make the ascent look challenging. I was supposed to go rollerblading with Mario next week, but I guess that’s out of the question now.”

The injury also had repercussions for his career.

“He has been ruled out for the next Super Smash Bros.,” a publicist at Nintendo stated. “We will be conducting interviews for possible replacements. Several characters such as Mia from Golden Sun and Tom Nook from Animal Crossing have already submitted their applications. For now, Diddy Kong will really have to pick up the slack. There is no doubt King K. Rool is laughing his ass off right now.”

Kong, who most recently starred in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and Donkey Kong Country: Tropical…