Considerate Shoplifter Updates Inventory After Stealing From Store
MINOT, N.D. — A local shoplifter stole $300 worth of merchandise as well as the hearts of ApexLand employees at a neighborhood store. As inflation continues to climb, some area residents have been forced to abandon the morals they grew up with. As long as he was stealing, sheet metal worker Oliver Samuelson decided he would still find a way to contribute to the positive energy of the store: he left notes that updated the inventory after pilfering select goods from the location, a store employee confirmed.
“Look, I recently go laid off from my job as a sheet metal worker,” revealed Samuelson as he shook his head in embarrassment. “I’m just trying pull myself up by my steel toe bootstraps. However, I don’t feel too bad for the company I’m stealing from because it’s a giant corporation, so I don’t really care what happens to them. I’ve only been stealing diapers and baby formula to keep my kids happy. And, alright, I did take a waffle maker because waffles are fucking delicious. But, other than that, it was only necessities.”
He admitted that he did feel bad for the everyday employees.
“I don’t want to hurt them at all. I just know the bottom line isn’t going to really affect them,” said Samuelson in a hopeful tone. “I want to take care of the hard-working people who deal with the…
