7 Candies to Stop Giving Out on Halloween if You‘re a Good Person

Two imitation human skeletons outside a house decorated for Halloween.
Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

Halloween is one of the last times in kids’ lives where they can pursue handouts without being flagged as communists. They should be able to have as much fun as possible before adulthood crushes their souls into oblivion. Almost nothing saps the enjoyment out of trick-or-treating faster than being on the receiving end of literal or figurative trash, so your choice of candy will…



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Ken Taro

Writer, satirist, and humorist. You can find my best work on my mom’s refrigerator.