15 Dumbest Pokémon Even People Who Don’t Care About Pokémon Will Agree With

I don’t choose you!

Ken Taro
6 min readAug 11, 2022

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The Pokemon Company’s official logo
Public domain from Wikipedia

From the enigmatic electric mouse Pikachu to the majestically stubborn Charizard, there are plenty of Pokémon to love and root for. It doesn’t matter whether they are cute and cuddly or gargantuan and menacing. These qualities alone don’t dictate whether a Pokémon is stupid or not. I do.

Some are poor adaptations of everyday items. Others are whimsical trash that disguise themselves as rare treasures. Finally, there are a select few who just annoy me because of their faces.

Gotta Catch ’Em All? No, thank you. Leave these 15 out of my Pokédex.

Chandelure

Official Pokémon description: This Pokémon haunts dilapidated mansions. It sways its arms to hypnotize opponents with the ominous dancing of its flames.

My take: The next time I find myself in a dilapidated mansion, which I so often do, I will be sure to watch out for this hauntingly-pointless chandelier. I’m going to swing from it and then have Blastoise turn the water jets full blast on this monstrosity.

A Pokemon named Chandelure
From Bulbapedia

Klefki

Official Pokémon description: This Pokémon is constantly collecting keys. Entrust a Klefki with important keys, and the Pokémon will protect them no matter what.

My take: Yes, that’s right. A keychain Pokémon. What’s next, a padlock Pokémon?

A Pokemon named Klefki
From Bulbapedia

Comfey

Official Pokémon description: Comfey picks flowers with its vine and decorates itself with them. For some reason, flowers won’t wither once they’re attached to a Comfey.

My take: You would think that a ring of keys would be difficult to beat in terms of foolishness. But, lo and behold, this may be the worst of them all. This ring of FLOWERS belongs on a suburban family’s door at Christmas.

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Ken Taro

Writer, satirist, and humorist. You can find my best work on my mom’s refrigerator.